Friday, July 22, 2005

1970's FUNKY Polyester Leisure Suits

Passion for Polyester

Believe it or not... men with a passion for polyester still exist. Men who crave the flexibilty and retro style of an authentic 70's Disco Suit are coming out of the woodwork in various parts of the world. They are coming out to buy these retro 1970's threads in droves. They're shopping online.

While we've sold a massive amount of men's leisure suits already, not one man so far has been brave enough to send us a picture and be immortalized in his retrolucious polysplendid groovy assed glory in's Funky Fashion Hall of Fame. A fact that, quite frankly, has left us feeling damn surprised. Shocked even.

A wild styled men's polyester leisure suit doesn't exactly scream "introvert", now does it?

Could it be that we are creating a new, yet undiscovered phenomenon in stashed fashion? Is the wild poly ensemble a secret being donned when a man is allowed enough time alone? Perhaps so. Maybe the shame of the secret disco suit is taking ordinarily brave men who've had a history of revealing their innermost feelings and turning them into something that feels more like an underground fetish fashion fiend.

Oprah! Get with the picture.

We recently spoke to Dick. Of course Dick didn't want us to use his real name or, of course, to show his picture. So, we didn't. But, we will tell you that Dick had on the most blinding lime green leisure suit with black contrasting stitching that we'd ever seen. A white belt, white platform shoes, white hat and a wild and shiny disco shirt with a black and yellow-gold zig-zag pattern to it. He appeared as if he was coming unglued. The sweat beaded above his eyebrows and above his lip even as he sipped and nervously jarred his glass of ice water by passing it rythmically back and forth between his hands. As the ice cubes continually made that tinkling sound ice makes against the walls of a glass, we reassured him of his safety and promised he'd be anonymous at least 67 times.

At long last, Dick began to talk. Right before the ice tinkling got to the point where we belted him one.

"I-I-I- well... I've never talked about this. But... errr... I get the most delicious joy surges coursing through my being when I climb in to a leisure suit... I'm feeling like a super hero love machine. Pimp daddy extrordinaire. Fantastic. But, the downside lately is that the Bee Gees are in my frickin' dreams every single night. I've got night fever. Last night I woke myself up saying, 'play that funky music white boy.' REALLY LOUD. And.... errr.... nobody knows I love to dress up like this. I'm afraid to leave the house."

We left Dick alone in the room with a bottle of Southern Comfort. At some point he escaped into the night leaving only his glass behind and an empty bottle. The fabric on the seat of the overstuffed chair was wet. We hoped it was Southern Comfort.

We urge all of you disco daddies to publicly unveil the super groovy glory of polyester power and receive your man made fiber validation. Celebrate it. Come out of the self imposed bondage of hiding in the closet of funky fashion. Drop that shame in the dumpster and hustle, baby.

Bottom line people:
...don't be a Dick. Send us your pic.

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