You know damn well what people are staring at when you dare leave the house looking like this. You crave attention not so secretly, Mister. You're totally busted by wearing this shirt. People stare at you no matter WHAT you're wearing - and you already know that. By wearing this shirt out with your pals, you essentially guarantee that they have been rendered virtually invisible. And you know... those people that put their hands up to their mouths - gasping and attempting to hide their laughter - they are laughing WITH you and not AT you. Yes, Sir. You smile and wave.
You have mastered the art of confidence.