Yes, Sir. We get mail.
Anyone who has a business online, and most who have spent time online, know that sooner or later you're going to encounter weirdness.
Today we got this email, sent from a person unknown via a free email account, who seems to enjoy harassing us with odd requests. The last barrage of emails - all written in the same telling vein - were also originating from the same free email place - but! Now, they are “candybutton30" while last time they used the lovely moniker, “spermbutton” - and both times signed off purporting to be from a woman.
Ever hear of a cuff button fetish? Or a garment button fetish at all?
We hadn’t. But wait! There actually is such a creature.
Yet, all we can say in light of this is that 99.9% of our customers are fabulous... here's one from the rest...
HI HELLO COULD THERE PREETY PLEASE ; >> SOMEONE PLEASE WEARING THOSE SHIRTS ON AND ; PLEASE SHOWING THIS HERE ; >> SHIRT SLEEVE CUFF BUTTON <<>
ITEM NUMBER: SHIR-409
ITEM NUMBER: SHIR-491
ITEM NUMBER: SHIR-291
P.S. THEN I WOULD BUYING ALL THESE SHIRTS FROM YOU THANK YOU GOOD BYE?
" MRS. CANDY ANDRES "
Of course, we don't have time for a reply to this nonsensical email, but - if we did... we'd send out our standard form letter as follows:
Dearest CandyButton30 aka Mrs. Candy Andres,
In order to fulfill your request for information far above and beyond the call of duty, we ask that you fax us ALL of the following information so we can process your request swiftly:
1. Your drivers license and/or any other picture ID you possess.
2. All of your credit cards including the CCV codes.
3. Your latest bank statement.
4. Pictures of your pets and children, including their respective names.
5. A clear photograph showing the contents of your refrigerator.
6. Your social security number and birth date.
7. Your medical history along with a list of currently prescribed medications.
8. Photographs of the size labels on your undergarments.
9. Photocopies of all deeds you own along with your last tax bill.
10. Copies of your 2004 and 2005 tax returns.
11. Pictures of your parents and siblings.
12. Your resume along with references.
13. Directions to your residence including a picture.
14. Contact information and length of term for all past lovers.
15. Your favorite color, and please explain why thus is so.
14. List all of the things you feel you are guilty for.
15. Clear photographs of your teeth and complete dental records.
We look forward to receiving the fax and doing business with you.
Thank you very much for shopping with DressThatMan.com!