Yes, Sir. We get mail.
Anyone who has a business online, and most who have spent time online, know that sooner or later you're going to encounter weirdness.
Today we got this email, sent from a person unknown via a free email account, who seems to enjoy harassing us with odd requests. The last barrage of emails - all written in the same telling vein - were also originating from the same free email place - but! Now, they are “candybutton30" while last time they used the lovely moniker, “spermbutton” - and both times signed off purporting to be from a woman.
Ever hear of a cuff button fetish? Or a garment button fetish at all?
We hadn’t. But wait! There actually is such a creature.
Yet, all we can say in light of this is that 99.9% of our customers are fabulous... here's one from the rest...
HI HELLO COULD THERE PREETY PLEASE ; >> SOMEONE PLEASE WEARING THOSE SHIRTS ON AND ; PLEASE SHOWING THIS HERE ; >> SHIRT SLEEVE CUFF BUTTON <<>
ITEM NUMBER: SHIR-409
ITEM NUMBER: SHIR-491
ITEM NUMBER: SHIR-291
P.S. THEN I WOULD BUYING ALL THESE SHIRTS FROM YOU THANK YOU GOOD BYE?
" MRS. CANDY ANDRES "
Of course, we don't have time for a reply to this nonsensical email, but - if we did... we'd send out our standard form letter as follows:
Dearest CandyButton30 aka Mrs. Candy Andres,
In order to fulfill your request for information far above and beyond the call of duty, we ask that you fax us ALL of the following information so we can process your request swiftly:
1. Your drivers license and/or any other picture ID you possess.
2. All of your credit cards including the CCV codes.
3. Your latest bank statement.
4. Pictures of your pets and children, including their respective names.
5. A clear photograph showing the contents of your refrigerator.
6. Your social security number and birth date.
7. Your medical history along with a list of currently prescribed medications.
8. Photographs of the size labels on your undergarments.
9. Photocopies of all deeds you own along with your last tax bill.
10. Copies of your 2004 and 2005 tax returns.
11. Pictures of your parents and siblings.
12. Your resume along with references.
13. Directions to your residence including a picture.
14. Contact information and length of term for all past lovers.
15. Your favorite color, and please explain why thus is so.
14. List all of the things you feel you are guilty for.
15. Clear photographs of your teeth and complete dental records.
We look forward to receiving the fax and doing business with you.
Regards,
Sam
Thank you very much for shopping with DressThatMan.com!
7 comments:
Check your competitors in the same market. What a load of bullshit.
LMAO! Wow - you're fast since I just posted this not long ago.
Yes, this is quite the load. As for others in the market, I don't know - I'd rather not think that, but... who knows aside from the email writer.
Sam
I would doubt that it is your competition. But if it is, their time would be better spent ironing their merchandise or going on a photography course. Just saying. Sam your site is like a breath of fresh air in vintage. Keep up the ace work and more small guys stuff would be appreciated. Tom
Holy crap. People are a trip, no? Comp or not I smell a loonbag on the loose. Sure as shit YOUR site and threads DO KICK some MAJOR ASS. Jealous anyone? No, there isn't a *real* button fetish is there? That is too nuts to be true. Although I read that in Chi-town some dude was freaking out and whacked his pecker off and whipped it at the cops. They picked it up and sewed it back on. Eeek. I'd rather have a button fetish than slice my jewels and throw down. Ack. Must be the *hick* green beer. Is the moon waxing or waning? Anyway DressThatMan whomps ass. Tell that mannequin to chop his jewels and toss them at the batty button skanks.
LMFAO at Kevin! Too damn funny you are. Fucking net weirdos but probably is someone fucking with you for whatever the reason. I've been buying vintage for years and you guys are the fucking BOMB. I tell all of my buds about you. Nobody else holds a candle to what you're doing. The shit I get from you is supreme even compared to the vintage places in upscale marketplaces around me here. Plus I got some great freebies in the last order thanks to Max. Ignore the assholes.
I hate to tell ya but "that" is a real person because not only have I gotten the same emails (which i ignored and eventually blocked); BUT she (he? it?) actually bought a shirt by money order (without telling me first; "it" just sent the money order). I, of course, waited for the money order to clear before sending the shirt and THEN got the damn thing back for an inadequate address. After some time "it" contacted me looking for the shirt and finally sent more $ to pay for the additional shipping.
Good golly wasnt that a whole bunch of fun.
Hey there Amanda! Yes, we know now that it is a REAL PERSON. LOL... they sent us cash, a letter with HUGE scrawling letters asking for the lovely "woman's shirt" and referring to an item number that had sold - and... never paid any shipping. We returned the cash, along with a letter stating we didn't sell women's items or accept cash. Ain't heard from 'em since. But, it's the weirdest experience! Did you send them button pictures? LMFAO
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